Six Flags Over COSTCO
By Greg Budell
I think the smartest people in this magazine are those who advertise in it. Their ads are placed in a beautifully produced publication that is hand delivered to the best mailboxes in South Florida. This magazine is read by successful people with the personal resources to engage and patronize local businesses. Our magazine is designed to hang around the house for a while. Visitors enjoy it. It looks great on a coffee table. Plus an ad placed (and paid for) in the January issue might still pay off in June thanks to its display-ability. Advertising here is a good deal. The newspaper gets in a few faces too, if it isn’t stolen by a cheap neighbor or doesn’t float downstream in a monsoon. Its shelf life is rather short. The day after arrival, it is wrapping coffee grounds, lining bird cages or protecting Christmas ornaments. When radio advertising is done properly, it too, can be very effective. I have experienced this on the most personal levels. In the early ’80s, I advertised for a wife on my morning show. It was the dumbest thing I ever did in my career. In the days before internet love, I received over 700 hand-crafted date proposals, complete with personal resumes and photos. I was so overwhelmed I only dated one woman, one time, and spent months sending thank you notes to the sincere sweethearts who thought I was a "catch."
Those women have no idea how lucky they were I didn’t take them out. I’m all grown up now. One morning last fall, I made mention of interest in obtaining a Costco card. Before the show was over, I received a Facebook message from a friend who offered me Costco membership at half price, complete with a $25 gift card to get started. It sounded like a good deal so I accepted the offer. What a great deal for me! My Costco Marketer agreed to meet me at the station at 9am so I could fill out the papers and be on my way and that would be that. I didn’t have to go anywhere or mess with my fragile weekday schedule. I just didn’t count on my Costco-Facebook friend being a genuine cutie pie. I diligently filled out the paperwork in my studio and kept things on a business-like basis with the flaming red head the entire 15 minutes of our rendezvous. "Thank you for meeting me here at the station!" I said as she walked to her car, while my evil brain was thinking "do you serve fries with that shake?" Later that day, it was time to put the first scorch marks on my Costco membership card. If nothing else, you’ll feel younger shopping at Costco. Their shopping carts are enormous, so when I grabbed my first, I suddenly felt 10 again—remembering when Mommy first let me wheel the big grocery cart down the aisles of the A&P in Chicago. The cart handle meets your chest somewhere around the sternum. Big as they are, you can fill your Costco cart with one item because everything there is super-sized. I swear I stood face to face with a 6-foot-tall box of Honey Nut Cheerios on my first visit. I went to the meat department and saw the biggest packages of ground beef ever. I looked at the label and couldn’t tell if the meat’s label gave a price or a zip code. Costco likes to feed you as you walk the food section. After 18 stops at vendors hawking their treats, I took the sweat pants I’d picked up and exchanged the large for an extra large.
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